^^^i took this picture, jussssayin' (=
it's been two weeks. two fucking weeks. but i honestly can't decide if my friends are right. they always tell me "he's an arrogant douchebag, dump his ass." but i can't. i love him. i really do. no matter where i am, what i'm doing, my m ind is racing with questions. am i ever going to hear from him? does he still feel the same? does he even think about me? i mean, i know he's super busy all the time, but he could at least give me a signal that he's alive. not even "hey babe, i cant really talk but i just wanted you to know i love you." thats all i need. all i fucking need. but he doesnt have the ten seconds in the day to do that. whatever, thursday will be two months for me and him. if i dont hear from him by then, i might just cry. literally.
i think it's kinda funny that one of his best friends has become the one supportive person i have. he knows i'm upset, and he always talks to me, even though i nag the living shit outta him. he's officially my rock in this situation. but really, did you have to sign off on him the second he asked why the hell you haven't talked to me? ever thought of the fact that maybe you have a girlfriend that tends to worry? heh, apparently not.
i went to the beach with steph and dan tonight. i really wish we could work out like them. yeah, i'll admit, they have their issues, but they're always happy together in the end. so while they sat all lovey in the sand, i just stood with my feet in the water, staring out into the water. it really gave me a chance to drift. but i'm such a scatterbrain, that my thoughts were: "i wonder if he still thinks the same about me...hey that's longshore drift! we learned about that in earth science, in eighth grade. does he still love me? i mean he told me he didn't want to break up...i really hope that seaweed isn't a crab, HEY PRETTY SUNSET!" but anywho, i was with two friends who are constantly looking out for me, and that made me super happy (=
so tell me, do you still think about me at all? i know you're busy, but what i was told you did tonight made me think you don't wanna talk to me. i mean really, if you don't wanna talk to me, have the balls to tell me. don't avoid me for two weeks. but hey, maybe you aren't avoiding me. you have no reason to. i mean, you're my boyfriend after all. and we said we didn't want to break up. but i'm not sitting around worrying, im out living my life...i just happen to worry while im living. but i can't help it.
okay. i'm done. goodnighttt<3istillloveyou.
its been too long, and im trying to stay strong as you push me closer to the edge. only the sound of your voice, the touch of your hand can save me from falling over this ledge. i wait and wait, but not a sign, that tells me i'll be just fine. just a glimmer of hope, even in the smallest size, can save me from this bitter demise
