There's No Real Love In You.

Currently Listening: Automatic - Tokio Hotel <3>

We've all got a best friend, right? Think of them right now. They're pretty incredible, aren't they? Of course they are. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend. You love them a lot, don't you? Of course you do. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend. They mean a lot to you, don't they? Of course they do. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend. Now imagine that person being torn from the world without warning. You blink, and they're gone. You're not very happy imagining a world without your best friend, are you? Of course you're not. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend.

Apparently I don't happen to fit any of these stereotypes right about now. And it really bothers me. I mean, come on, everyone in the world wants to have that best friend by their side to be their lifeline. I wish I could say someone said that about me. I've kinda realized lately that nobody considers me their best friend. When my name is mentioned, nobody says "Oh she's my best friend." Yeah, I know I'm considered one of your best friends, but I'm nobody's true best friend. I've read what Stephanie has wrote, and she talks about her two best friends, aka Kristina and Lauren. And we all know Sean and Kristen have each other. But then there's...me. Yeah, I'm never really mentioned under the best friend category. And it hurts. Is it bad that I just started crying a little? Yeah, i have no idea why. I mean, this isn't a huge tragedy. It's just something that's been bugging me. Sometimes I feel like they don't really want me around. Well not all of them, but sometimes I feel like Kristina doesn't like me. I mean, I think we're really good friends, right? I can pretty much tell her everything. Same with Stephanie. And Lauren. And Sean. And Kristen. I love them all. They're my best friends. But where is the one best friend that's always by my side? It kinda sucks. Like, I don't even know. I'm happy, for the most part. I still miss you. And your stupid hair. You fucking douchebag. Anywho, before I get too sidetracked, I miss having someone call me their best friend. I hate this feeling of being the odd girl out.

Okay, I guess I'm done ranting. Goodnight.



"You're automatic and your heart's like an engine, I die with every beat. You're automatic and your voice is electric, why do I still believe? It's automatic everywhere in your letter, a lie that makes me bleed. It's automatic when you say things get better, but they never...There's no realy love in you, why do I keep loving you?"
-Tokio Hotel

And His Heart of Stone Left Her's Breaking

Currently Listening: Say Goodnight - Bullet For My Valentine
Yanno, I really hate you, you stupid douche.
...Alright, obviously I'm still not over you. Awesome.
But I am sick of this stupid game we have going on. We don't speak, yet you sit super close to me and stare. And you make it obvious to. Like, you clearly still think about me. And I'm not jumping to conclusions where I think you wanna get back together. But obviously you're thinking. I talked to Kristina about it the other night. She said "He's probably wondering what you're thinking, just like you. Either that, or you make him horny." LMAO LOVE HER! But like, I really wish you'd talk to me. Don't leave me hanging like you did for so long. I can't wait forever. It really bothers me that I have a bunch of other guys after me, including your friends (!), yet I still want you. I compare every guy to you, and I feel like if I don't get over you soon, no guy will ever measure up. I hate that I do that. Even my best friends see us getting back together. It almost scares me though. If we don't wind up getting back together, and continue this stupid game, will I feel like I failed? Like it was my fault we broke up? I know I should'nt feel that way, but when I saw him with that other girl, I kept thinking, "What does she have that I don't?" I guess confidence is key in that situation, because even Steph said, "She's fat and ugly. Don't compare her to you because she will never measure up." Only a true best friend, who never talks shit about people's looks, would come up with that remark. Anywho, I need the strength to get over you. I really need to, because if I move on, and you're stuck in the past because you couldn't manage to speak to me, then it's your fucking loss. (:
Well that felt good! Alright, so school started, I'm a sophomore, and I'm gonna fail chem! Woo.

kbye!


"Even though she doesn't believe in love, he's determined to call her bluff. Who could deny these butterflies?" -All Time Low