There's No Real Love In You.

Currently Listening: Automatic - Tokio Hotel <3>

We've all got a best friend, right? Think of them right now. They're pretty incredible, aren't they? Of course they are. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend. You love them a lot, don't you? Of course you do. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend. They mean a lot to you, don't they? Of course they do. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend. Now imagine that person being torn from the world without warning. You blink, and they're gone. You're not very happy imagining a world without your best friend, are you? Of course you're not. Otherwise you wouldn't call them your best friend.

Apparently I don't happen to fit any of these stereotypes right about now. And it really bothers me. I mean, come on, everyone in the world wants to have that best friend by their side to be their lifeline. I wish I could say someone said that about me. I've kinda realized lately that nobody considers me their best friend. When my name is mentioned, nobody says "Oh she's my best friend." Yeah, I know I'm considered one of your best friends, but I'm nobody's true best friend. I've read what Stephanie has wrote, and she talks about her two best friends, aka Kristina and Lauren. And we all know Sean and Kristen have each other. But then there's...me. Yeah, I'm never really mentioned under the best friend category. And it hurts. Is it bad that I just started crying a little? Yeah, i have no idea why. I mean, this isn't a huge tragedy. It's just something that's been bugging me. Sometimes I feel like they don't really want me around. Well not all of them, but sometimes I feel like Kristina doesn't like me. I mean, I think we're really good friends, right? I can pretty much tell her everything. Same with Stephanie. And Lauren. And Sean. And Kristen. I love them all. They're my best friends. But where is the one best friend that's always by my side? It kinda sucks. Like, I don't even know. I'm happy, for the most part. I still miss you. And your stupid hair. You fucking douchebag. Anywho, before I get too sidetracked, I miss having someone call me their best friend. I hate this feeling of being the odd girl out.

Okay, I guess I'm done ranting. Goodnight.



"You're automatic and your heart's like an engine, I die with every beat. You're automatic and your voice is electric, why do I still believe? It's automatic everywhere in your letter, a lie that makes me bleed. It's automatic when you say things get better, but they never...There's no realy love in you, why do I keep loving you?"
-Tokio Hotel